Success
comes down to emotional intelligence more than anything else. In this article,
originally published on LinkedIn Pulse, Dr. Travis Bradberry, it shows how
ultra-successful people use this skill to achieve their dreams.
Ultra-successful people succeed along many different dimensions
of life: their friendships, their physical and mental health, their families,
and their jobs (which they are not only good at, but also enjoy). TalentSmart
has conducted research with more than a million people and found that
ultra-successful people have a lot in common. In particular, 90 percent of them
are skilled at managing their emotions in order to stay focused, calm and
productive. These ultra-successful folks have high emotional intelligence (EQ),
a critical quality to achieving your dreams.
I’ve
run across numerous effective strategies that ultra-successful people employ to
reach their goals, below are are 12 of the best. Some of these might seem
obvious, but the real challenge lies in recognizing when you need to use them
and having the wherewithal to actually do so.
1. They’re composed. Ultra-successful people
are composed because they constantly monitor their emotions; they understand
them, and they use this knowledge in the moment to react to challenging
situations with self-control. When things go downhill, they are persistently
calm and frustratingly content (frustrating to those who aren’t, at least).
They know that no matter how good or bad things get, everything changes with
time. All they can do is adapt and adjust to stay happy and in control.
2. They’re
knowledgeable.
Super-successful people know more than others do because they’re constantly
working to increase their self-awareness. They vow constant growth. Whenever
they have a spare moment, they fill it with self-education. They don’t do this
because it’s “the right thing to do”; they do it because it’s their passion.
They’re always looking for opportunities to improve and new things to learn
about themselves and the world around them. Instead of succumbing to their fear
of looking stupid, truly exceptional people just ask the questions on their
mind, because they would rather learn something new than appear smart.
3. They’re deliberate. Ultra-successful people
reach decisions by thinking things out, seeking advice from others and sleeping
on it. They know that (as studies show) impulsively relying too much on gut
instinct is ineffective and misleading. Being able to slow down and logically
think things through makes all the difference.
4. They speak with certainty. It’s rare to hear
super-successful people utter things, such as “um,” “I’m not sure,” and “I
think.” Successful people speak assertively because they know it’s difficult to
get people to listen to you if you can’t deliver your ideas with conviction.
5. They use positive
body language.
Becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions and tone of voice (and making
certain they’re positive) draws people to you like ants to a picnic. Using an
enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact and leaning
toward the person who’s speaking are all forms of positive body language that
super-successful people use to draw others in. Positive body language makes all
the difference in a conversation because how you say something can be more
important than what you say.
6. They leave a strong
first impression.
Research shows that most people decide whether they like you within the first
seven seconds of meeting you. Then they spend the rest of the conversation
internally justifying their initial reaction. This might sound terrifying, but
by knowing this, you can take advantage of it to make huge gains in how people
respond to you. First impressions are tied intimately to positive body
language. A strong posture, a firm handshake, a smile and open shoulders help ensure
your first impression is a good one.
7. They seek out small
victories.
Successful people like to challenge themselves and compete, even when their
efforts yield only small victories. Small victories build new androgen
receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for reward and motivation. The
increase in androgen receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which
further increases the confidence and eagerness to tackle future challenges.
When you achieve a series of small victories, the boost in your confidence can
last for months.
8. They’re fearless. Fear is nothing more
than a lingering emotion fueled by your imagination. Danger is real. It’s the
uncomfortable rush of adrenaline you get when you almost step in front of a
bus. Fear is a choice. Exceptional people know this better than anyone, so they
flip fear on its head. Instead of letting fear take over, successful people are
addicted to the euphoric feeling of conquering fears.
9. They’re graceful. Graceful people are the
perfect combination of strong and gentle. They don’t resort to intimidation,
anger or manipulation to get a point across because their gentle, self-assured
nature gets the job done. The word gentle often carries a negative connotation
(especially in the workplace), but in reality, it’s the gentleness of being
graceful that gives ultra-successful people their power. They’re approachable,
likeable and easy to get along with—all qualities that make people highly
amenable to their ideas.
10. They’re honest. Super-successful people
trust that honesty and integrity, though painful at times, always work out for
the best in the long run. They know that honesty enables genuine connections
with people in a way that dishonesty can’t, and that lying always comes back to
bite you in the end. In fact, a Notre Dame study showed that people who often
lied experienced more mental health problems than their more honest
counterparts.
11. They’re grateful. Ultra-successful
people know it takes a lot of ambition, passion and hard work to get where they
are in life. They also know their mentors, colleagues, families and friends all
play a huge role in their success. Instead of basking in the glory of
achievement, super-successful people recognize others for the wonderful things
they’ve done for them.
12. They’re appreciative. Truly exceptional
people are able to achieve so much because they know the importance of slowing
down and appreciating everything they already have. They know a huge amount of
their positivity, grit and motivation comes from their ability to stay
grounded, and appreciate the opportunities that life has given them thus far.
These
habits can make any of us more successful if we use them every day. Give them a
try and see where they take you.
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